How To Crash a Friendship: A Step by Step Tutorial with Hannah

” Oh my gosh I hate you like so much! Ugh you suck!” If you want to hear these words on a daily basis, well step right up, I’ll help you out. I’m pretty great at making a friendship collapse like a house of cards. So welcome; let’s get started!

Step One : be as annoying as you possibly can without actually trying. Make sense? Nope? Great, you’re getting it! Most of the time you don’t actually know that you’re annoying the person until they say the words that I mentioned earlier. So this is the easiest step. Just be yourself, and you won’t have any problems.

Step Two : be as caring and helpful as you can. Why, you ask? Isn’t it obvious? Because then your so called “friend” thinks your being “too nice” cause that’s a thing, right? Being nice sucks, so I completely recommend it so they’ll hate you even more. Always look out for them, and do everything you can to be a true friend, they hate it when you do that. They only like the people who don’t like them and give them fake compliments so they look good. I know, you’re thinking, ” What on earth Hannah this is the worse advice ever!” Trust me on this, I’ve had plenty of experience so you can be sure that this method always works.

Step Three : get ready, this really drives them over the edge. Always be there for them. Be a true friend. If they ever feel bad and you ask them if you can do anything to help, or if you just wait for them after class, they flip out. Here’s an example of flipping out so you can recognize it when it happens and know that the official crashing of the friendship is coming up. ” Gosh, why did you wait for me? I can walk to my locker by myself, I don’t need you with me every second of the day! You’re so clingy!” Or, my favorite, ” I don’t need your help with my life, I’m completely fine!”

There you have it; the perfect three step path to crashing a friendship. Enjoy, and I hope this works out for you in the future! Remember, if you ever need any advice on how to completely drive your friend up the wall, I’m here for you.

The Weirdest Thing

The weirdest thing is when water comes our of your face when you’re upset. Like your body goes, ” Oh, this guy’s feeling pretty terrible, let’s have him start gushing water out of his eyes so he can’t stop for about 10 minutes! ‘Cause that’s the obvious thing to do, right?” Not at all. Crying is useless.

Why does everyone need to know you’re hurt? Oh right, THEY DON’T. But no, you have to have water streaming down your face to alert your friends — and sometime the entire class — that you’re hurt, or feeling sad, or whatever the reason is. But it’s not over yet. You still need to keep it going for about 10 minutes while you get countless: “Oh my gosh, are you okay”s and ” Oh my gosh, what happened?” And then comes the, ” Oh, did you hear she was crying today!? Scandalous!

The worst is when you actually just get something in your eye, so your eye starts tearing up, so everybody freaks out and thinks your crying when in reality, you just got something in your eye. But when you claim that that’s what happened, people just nod knowingly, while you can still see that they actually have no idea that your are actually telling the truth.

There you have it. I think we all know form experience that crying sucks immensely. It’s completely and utterly useless.

Is Spying Dangerous? Oh, yeah. Am I good at it? Not at all.

DING- DONG! The doorbell rings, and my older sister, Rachel climbs down from her bunk bed.She jumps off the last rung of the ladder and makes her way towards the door.
“Where are you going, Rach?”, I ask quizzically. We’re supposed to be asleep,and my 1st grade brain is telling me this is not a good idea.
“To spy on them, of course!”, she replies. But that’s Rachel for you. I get out of bed cautiously, like my parents might come upstairs, when I knew they wouldn’t.
Should I follow her?, I think. Maybe, but I’ll get in trouble if I do, the innocent part of my mind contradicts. Eh, they might never find out, my mind finalizes. I walk out of my ultra-hot pink room into the medium-sized hallway.
I hear voices, and over exaggerated laughter drifting up from the living room.I start to doubt myself, but don’t get very far. “Shhh,” Rachel warns. I nod, and then crouch down beside her. I think some newfound energy sprouted up from somewhere deep inside me, and I decide to stay here for as long as possible. I am crouching on my toes, and then I lean even further down to see our guests.
There is slight crack above the railing that is visible because the floor of the media room upstairs also serves as the ceiling for the living room downstairs. If I lean really far down, I can see a lot more through the beams supporting the railing. I lean so far, my body is almost horizontal with the stairs. If I lean any more, I will start rolling, and the stairs will give as much mercy to me as the desert does to a tumbleweed. And I am sure if I fall down the stairs, that’s what it will feel like: like I am a tumbleweed. I listen to the conversation going on downstairs, and then my sister taps my shoulder.
I lose my balance, since I am crouching on my toes, and leaning so far out isn’t helping me as I start rolling down the stairs. With each step I hit, my back feels like it just got slammed into a brick wall. The once comfy and soft carpet on our stairs have become, well, not that comfy after about 7 years of living here. And the smell, UGH! It was disgusting! I could smell all the dust and the stinky smell of feet accumulated after a long time. I release a yelp, and then bite down hard on my tongue, too hard I know, after I taste the bitter, metallic taste of my blood. I hear the wind whooshing in my ears, and my once halfway view of the living room turns into a blurry whirl as I see the world spin in fast circles as I finally roll to a stop at the first landing, but not a peaceful stop. I slam into the railing, and then stop.
My mom and dad rush over, along with our guest. My mom is the first to speak, and even she can only muster the simple question, “Are you okay?” Rachel is still at the top of the stairs, staring at me, open-mouthed. My parents apply Bengay to my back after interrogating me with questions. After about 5 minutes, Rachel gets over her shock, pushes herself up from the ground, and sprints downstairs, apologizing so fast I think she might have drank an entire liter of Sprite. Trust me, it’s happened before.
Well, after my parents tuck me in again, for the final time today, I can’t help thinking that, Hey! At least I didn’t get in trouble!

My Favorite Mistake

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” 57 playing, 58 to the waiting chair please.” The girl hurries past my seat, going all the way to the front of the room, to finally collapse on the stiff black chair. At All Region Orchestra Auditions, you need to be prepared. Unfortunately, prepared was the exact opposite of what I was.

I had been given the 3 pieces to practice over the summer. But I, of course,did not even lay a finger on my violin, not wanting to disturb my “summer chillaxation.” Yeah, and we all saw how well that worked out… Of course, while many other violin geniuses practiced every day, I wouldn’t even think about anything other than relax. I think we all know the worst thing is when you spend a little too much time relaxing and not enough time on the real important stuff. You might know it as procrastination. Well, procrastination has been my best friend for a while, we’ve always been pretty close, best buds. But yeah, no. On that chilly October weekend, my best friend Mr. Procrastination decided to battle me. A terrible thing, really, but hey, we all know Mr. Procrastination’s a pretty sneaky guy. I should have been expecting it.

The clock is ticking so loudly I think it’s broken. Chairs all around me squeak as 20 students squirm in the hard black chairs. There were many different actions going on with the hands of students. Some people were practicing silently, their fingers flying across the fingerboard. Others were biting their nails, or shaking their hands, wanting to go and get their audition over with. I was rubbing my own hands against my leggings, anxiously awaiting my turn; for the assistant lady to call me, Number 106.

Finally I hear the magic words: ” Number 105 playing, 106 in the waiting chair please.” My friends squeezes my hand as I get up, another girl gives me an encouraging smile as if saying, Good luck, try not to die or melt or mess up or any of that other great stuff. I took it to heart as I took my place perched on the very edge of the rigid chair. My leg was bouncing up and down and my hands were sweating like there was no tomorrow. My entire body was shaking and my eyes we’re darting back and forth. Player 105 finishes her piece — which she played perfectly, of course — with a flourish and walks back to her seat, head held high. I hesitantly get up, walk towards the music stand and get ready. I hoist my violin on my shoulder,and everything seems fine. Of course, that’s when everything goes wrong. I start, and my fingers deftly move across the fingerboard, my bow moving at record speed. I’m going good, only a few more measures left. But those last measures feel like eternity as my finger slips off the fingerboard, and my bow makes a dying animal sound. Not pleasant, I think to myself as I try to finish of the piece with a flourish of my bow, as the girl before had done. It didn’t work out so well, my bow banged an unknown object and at the end if it all, I legitimately wanted to move to Siberia, Tibet — or better yet, Antarctica.

Honestly, I knew I wouldn’t make it. I hadn’t prepared well enough, and more than half of the students were better than me. All because I didn’t practice as much as I could. And that was my terrible mistake. Looking back at it, it was a tragedy, really. So as endearing and charismatic as Mr. Procrastination is, don’t let him in too close. You actually need to work to reach your goals, and I will be surely be giving Mr. Procrastination the silent treatment as I do anything, ever in my life, from today and onwards. Don’t trust that guy.

Hillsong United : Welcome Zion

November 25th was a pretty great day. The last day of school before Thanksgiving break, and it was pretty relaxed. Yeah, sure, I had a science yes, but I had prepared for it and did well. I was feeling great by the time 7th Period rolled around. I was so excited!

There’s this band called Hillsong United that I absolutely adore. They’re a Christian band that my family follows and listens to all the time. They were on their tour, Welcome Zion, and my sister and I had been kind of obsessing over their best album yet. Our parents had surprisingly agreed to take us to their concert in Houston and pick us up early to school to get there at 7:30.

I had just gotten to English and we started talking about our essays and poems we had been working on when somebody came in to give my teacher a note. ” Hannah David.” I jump up eagerly while my friend glances at me with a questioning look. I whisper “concert” to her as I walk past her. I get my note from my teacher, say ” Happy Thanksgiving ” under my breath, and walk out of the computer lab. I run down the stairs, get all my things together, and run back upstairs to go to the office. My dad greets me with a smile and says, ” Ready to go?” Like I would ever have an answer anything other then ” YES!” We walk out of the school, the heavy metal doors banging shut behind us.

I jump into the car and we listen to music and talk about how we can’t wait for the concert as we drive home. When we get home, we gather all of our things and make sure our bags are packed with everything we need to stay the night in Houston. By the time the concert probably gets over, we will all be too tired to do anything other than sleep, let alone drive back home for three hours. My mom finishes her last meeting, and we all get in the car again to drive to Westlake to pick up my sister. When she gets in the car, the trip officially begins. Mission Hillsong United is in motion.

We get there just in time, and we run up to get our seats. The Reliant Arena is humongous, and as I scanned the crowd, I realized how many people can come together just for one cause. It’s pretty amazing to think that thousands of people all over the world enjoy the same things I do. The opening performance is by Young and Free, a youth branch off of Hillsong United. They are amazing, and very talented. After them, we wait for 40 minutes until Hillsong United comes out. I have to say, it was worth the wait. They play all of my favorite songs from their old albums, including a one where all the band members are dancing and running around on stage, one of the main singers are singing into a megaphone, and top it all off the ground is literally vibrating.

The concert ends at 11:37 PM, and I have to say, I was stunned. I’ve been to 2 concerts of their’s before, but this one was by far the best. I had so much fun, and the rest of Thanksgiving weekend, I was still marveling how perfect that night was.

Harvest Festival

Last week on Saturday, my church had its annual Harvest Festival. We support a lot of missionaries, and this entire festival’s earnings go towards all the missionaries. Everything is with tickets, and each ticket is one dollar. So as you would guess, with about 75 families, we would get a lot of money to send to the missions. My family and I always help out with making the Harvest Festival spectacular, and it’s always really fun!

3:00 PM is when everybody usually starts coming. We still have a sermon, but instead of starting at 5:00 PM, on Harvest Festival we start at 3:45 PM so there is a lot of time to be outside after the sermon while it’s still light outside. There is great food, and usually cotton candy and noodles additional to all the regular Indian foods, like spring rolls, poori, you get it. I always hang out with my friends, and we get our faces painted. Usually by each other, because my friends and I are the ones who man the face painting station. Other than face painting, we have lots and lots of games. We have darts, musical chairs, and plenty of other games. At 7:00 PM, that’s when the auction starts. Now when you think of the word “auction”, the first word that probably comes to mind is “serious”. But not for the Austin Christian Fellowship of India. No sir, for ACFI, everything is easygoing, laid back, and just plain funny. The same guy does it every year, and he is hilarious. So you would imagine how everybody would be fine with staying till about 9:30, and this year it was even later than that. The whole thing was just great, and as a bonus, at the end, everybody gets byrianni. And everybody loves food.

Harvest Festival usually includes a lot of pictures, and this year was no different. People were taking pictures for our church’s website, and at the Harvest Festival is usually when a lot of people take their family pictures. I should probably tell you now, I am NOT a photogenic person. Even when I know people are taking pictures of me, even when I’m staring straight at the camera and smiling my very best smile, I just can’t look good. So yeah… I don’t even know how to look natural when people say “SMILE!” I just kind of look at the camera and and try smiling kind of decent. But now you know, I am not one of those people who have a superhuman ability to look great in every single picture, even if they don’t even know someone is taking pictures of them. And that, my friend, is why Harvest Festival is the low point of my appearance.

This year, since we were um…”old enough” as some people said, we got to go in the bounce house at like 9:00 PM. And in November, 9:00 PM is pitch black. But that didn’t mean anything to us so we still did it. Yeah, probably not the best idea. Our time in the bounce house felt like a long time when it was probably just 20 or 30 minutes. It included lots of screams, all high pitched because well, we are middle school girls… And a lot of minor injuries to places like elbows and knees. Yup, never go in a bounce house when it’s pitch black outside… But it was great, and I had an amazing time.

I love Harvest Festival. I really do. I’ve been to every single one of them, and I never get bored when I’m there. I had a lot of fun at ACFI’s Harvest Festival for 2013.

Allegiant

Allegiant. What on earth. Veronica Roth, did you just. But seriously, how could you do this to us, to me. Absolutely not okay. Not at all.

I just finished the last book of the Divergent series, and I have to say, I knew it would probably happen, but I didn’t think Veronica Roth would actually just kill the main character, and one of her best friends. Like what? I was in a literal state of shock for the rest of the weekend. And it wasn’t enough for Veronica Roth to kill Tris in a simple way, she has to go through the entire first level of her mission, survive the actual death serum in fog which, she already had a very close experience with it, but no, that wasn’t enough. She still has to drag herself through the glass doors barely alive just to be greeted with, ” Hello, Tris.”

And that’s when I started to panic. Because everybody knows that when anybody says, ” Hello, (insert character’s name)”, that something terrible is going to happen. When somebody says that, that’s usually when the bad guy come in and does some awful deed, or that’s when you find out the good, innocent character is actually the villain, the evil mastermind the bad guy. So of course, when she goes in and is about to save everybody, David has to come in and just kill her. Because that’s exactly how you end a book, right?

Well, no. Also, to top it all off, in Insurgent, Tris about to be injected with death serum. She says, ” Am I done yet? I can’t be.” And then again, in Allegiant, while her life is seeping away, she sees her mom come to her in a hallucination, and she asks, “Am I done yet”, and her mom replies, ” Yes my child, you’ve done so well.”

Halloween Front Porch

     A black figure darted across the path that led up to the massive black house, looming over me, casting shadows in the darkness. I hesitantly walk up the walkway, scared of the utterly silent, black, eerie, night. I can see the big pot of candy on the porch when BAM! a BLOODCURDLING SCREAM PIERCES THE NIGHT.

I realize my eyes are closed and hurriedly open them.

     Bad Idea.

An enormous zombie is standing in front of me. Was that bloodcurdling scream me? Probably, I mean, look at it. The zombie stays frozen in place for about 5 seconds, along with me, and then suddenly it opens its ghoulish mouth and starts laughing.

The zombie – who I had now observed was a person – laughed so hard his arm fell off. But where there should’ve been nothingness, there was a human arm. I let out a big sigh, stalk past the zombie, and go onto the front porch. I gather up my candy, and sit on the porch, which is quite festively decorated with large, hairy spiders, Jack-o-lanterns, and finally, a large mummy hanging over the door. I open the door and walk inside, calling behind me to my brother, ” not funny Dexter, not funny at all.” The door slams shut behind me. 

Newsboys Concert

Last Sunday, I went to the Newsboys concert. SoundWave opened for them, followed by Grace Campbell, and then Rapture Ruckus. The Newsboys were on their Restart World Tour, and last Sunday was their last day in Austin. They played at ACL, and then they came over to Great Hills Baptist Church, and that’s where I was. They played all of the songs on their album, Restart, and then they played some of their old songs including Something Beautiful, Born Again, and God’s Not Dead. Some of my favorites from the Restart album were Restart, Change the World, That Home, and Love Like I Mean It. The concert was amazing, and I really enjoyed it.

Volleyball

6:37 PM. I get off the bleachers and jog onto the court. The A Team just finished playing, and they had won the first one, lost the second one, and returned with an amazing comeback and finished it up, winning the last game. I was so nervous, knowing that this game was the first game going on our record. I kept trying to think positive thoughts, but it wasn’t exactly easy do because I had heard Marble Falls were a really hard team. Despite all of that, I lined up, and started doing warmups. All through the passing, all I could think about was how we absolutely needed to win. Finally, we started serving. Every single one of my serves sailed perfectly over the net, so I thought that things were looking pretty promising. I knew I shouldn’t get over confident, so I pushed all thoughts of winning out of my head. First half of the first game, and we were doing great. Calling the balls, have perfect passes, sets, and once we even spiked it over. We won that game 25 to 19. We knew we still shouldn’t get over confident, because we still had to win one more game. The second game, things weren’t looking so good. We would always be tied, and then the other team would get one point.We weren’t calling the ball, people would just watch the ball drop to the floor, and almost none of our serves went over. We lost that game 18 to 21. Still, we were hopeful. One more game, we could win this. The third game started off okay, with our team being always 3 to 4 points ahead of the other team. We played hard, got almost all of our serves over, and we finished the game with an amazing pass that could not be returned. We won that game 25 to 17, and there was a lot of screaming, and jumping up and down. The first game that went on our record, and we totally conquered it.