” Oh my gosh I hate you like so much! Ugh you suck!” If you want to hear these words on a daily basis, well step right up, I’ll help you out. I’m pretty great at making a friendship collapse like a house of cards. So welcome; let’s get started!

Step One : be as annoying as you possibly can without actually trying. Make sense? Nope? Great, you’re getting it! Most of the time you don’t actually know that you’re annoying the person until they say the words that I mentioned earlier. So this is the easiest step. Just be yourself, and you won’t have any problems.

Step Two : be as caring and helpful as you can. Why, you ask? Isn’t it obvious? Because then your so called “friend” thinks your being “too nice” cause that’s a thing, right? Being nice sucks, so I completely recommend it so they’ll hate you even more. Always look out for them, and do everything you can to be a true friend, they hate it when you do that. They only like the people who don’t like them and give them fake compliments so they look good. I know, you’re thinking, ” What on earth Hannah this is the worse advice ever!” Trust me on this, I’ve had plenty of experience so you can be sure that this method always works.

Step Three : get ready, this really drives them over the edge. Always be there for them. Be a true friend. If they ever feel bad and you ask them if you can do anything to help, or if you just wait for them after class, they flip out. Here’s an example of flipping out so you can recognize it when it happens and know that the official crashing of the friendship is coming up. ” Gosh, why did you wait for me? I can walk to my locker by myself, I don’t need you with me every second of the day! You’re so clingy!” Or, my favorite, ” I don’t need your help with my life, I’m completely fine!”

There you have it; the perfect three step path to crashing a friendship. Enjoy, and I hope this works out for you in the future! Remember, if you ever need any advice on how to completely drive your friend up the wall, I’m here for you.